Achieve More Of Your Potential

Some of you may have thought about this, most have not. Do you have an image in the back of your mind (or maybe closer to the front) that is you the way you want to be?


For some that image is clear, but for most it is hazy at best. For most people that image is obscured by distractions and clutter. If asked, most would say, "I think I know what I want to become... but I'm not sure." Even after you grow up and achieve some success, you still probably have a vague feeling that I could have been more, that I could be more. For the fortunate, they still have the thought that, "I can do more." But how could you have done more than you have, how can you still become more than you are? We all have room for improvement; how will you obtain that level?

If you think of a person you perceive that exemplifies success, whether it be an athlete, a movie star, a business leader, a spiritual leader, or a community leader, you can ask yourself, how did they get to where they are?

Most likely they had some innate talent, but it is also likely they had some help - a person who helped instruct them on being a better person, a person who encouraged them to pursue their dreams or to pursue their goals or to strive for excellence.

What if Tiger Woods had not been encouraged by his parents? Where would Tiger be today? He would not likely have had the opportunity to actualize his potential. He would not have been discovered, his natural talent might have gone unnoticed, undeveloped. He would not have received the coaching, training, tutoring, or financial support that he did. Much time and money have been invested in making Tiger who he is? How many Tigers are there out there that have not gotten the right coaching to help them obtain their potential?

What was your potential? Where would you be if you had received optimal support and coaching? You could have been a Tiger in that area in which you have talent. You likely have received some of what you needed, but probably not enough to achieve your potential. You did what you could with a little help, you worked to use what resources you had available to you; you used your natural talent and the nurturing you got.

What is your potential now, given your talents and where you are at this point in your life? What can you do to move forward, to get to the next level, to achieve your potential?

Now that you are here in this position in life, are you getting the coaching that you need? Are you actualizing the potential you have? What would it take for you to get to the next level? You will never have more natural talent than you have now. What is needed to make the most of your resources now to move you forward? Do you have a clear picture of what you can become? How can you gain clarity regarding what you can be and how you will achieve more of your potential?

If you seek opportunities, you can achieve more than you have so far; many things can help. To be a success to the level of a Tiger Woods, you would have to start early and get an enormous amount of help. But you can be a success in your own way starting from where you are now. Every day presents opportunities to grow. Life's challenges test us and were grow from that. If in addition to those challenges, we can learn from more structured methods. More structure can be obtained in a variety of ways, such as going to meetings, reading books, and listening to advice. Another method by which to achieve success and reach your potential is through mentoring. Find someone to mentor you in the areas in which you seek growth.

The process should include some basics:

Values - Most of us can make a quick list of things that are important to us, but a more structured assessment and discussion will probably reveal some surprises and facilitate clarity.
Goals - The more specific your goals and the more consistent they are with your values, the more satisfied you will be with your efforts.
Action - Your actions will be most effective if they are planned, consistent, and on target with your goals.
Life Coaching can be for you, what all those resources have been for Tiger. Life Coaching is a structured methodology for helping people to obtain their potential. You may not reach some pinnacle of success, but a life coach can help you develop a sharper image of who you want to be, and help you create the path to that success. Whether your goals are financial, physical, social, or spiritual; you can become whatever it is that defines success for you by actualize your potential.

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How To Find a Good Counselor or Therapist

Let's be honest with ourselves, if we all knew how to learn or access the skill sets required to overcome our challenges and create the lives that we dream of, we would all be skinny, rich, and happy!

It takes a great deal of courage and effort to even consider hiring a therapist, counselor, or coach. To do so represents a profound investment in you. Perhaps it is because you are struggling with some of life's challenges; relationship difficulties, career changes, depression, marriage problems, stress, anxiety attacks or panic attacks, or are simply ready to create a life which you are proud. Perhaps you finally asked yourself, "What kind of legacy in my leaving in this world for my friends and family?" Maybe you are in a relationship in considering marriage or long-term commitment and want to learn practical skills to help ensure your long-term success.

The goal of a good therapist is to help create a plan with you to overcome your challenges and make the changes in your life that you wish to achieve.

There are thousands of therapists and counselors available to you who are trained in numerous specialties and therapeutic approaches. Many, if not most of these therapists and counselors are highly trained in specialized fields and in specialized therapeutic approaches. There are psychotherapists, narrative therapist, cognitive behavioral therapist, energy therapist, spiritual therapist, and they may specialize in various areas such as relationships, sex and sexuality, career, depression and anxiety, or a multitude of specialties.

The problem, as I see it, is that with so many therapists and so many therapeutic options, how does one find the right fit without investing a great deal of time and money?

It's a bit of a catch 22 for someone who is newly reaching out for help. After all, if you had great clarity as to your problem, how it has come to be, and how you, and your unique experience, can overcome this problem, you would probably not need a therapist! Sometimes a fish does not know it is swimming in water!

The most effective solution to finding a good therapist is to look for an individual who has a great breadth and depth of life and therapeutic experience. Look for referrals to your friends, workplace, school, and do your own research on the internet. Many therapists and counselors have their own website which provides information about their experience and how they may be able to work with you.

You and your experience our unique. There is no "one-size-fits-all" approach for everyone.

Much like going to the doctor, first you go to a general or family practice doctor, not to a specialist. Begin your work with the therapist or counselor who has a broad base of experience and multiple therapeutic tools which they can use with you to create a helpful plan to move forward. If you have an acute psychiatric problem or challenge, your therapist will refer you to a specialist.

Consider how much time and money you are prepared to invest in this project called "you." I would suggest it is perhaps one of most profound and important undertakings you have ever embarked upon. That said, there is no reason that you should not be prudent and efficient in your approach and investment.

Be prepared to invest in an initial consultation with a therapist or counselor who you feel may be a good fit. Most therapists and counselors will provide you with a short telephone conversation or Skype conversation which will allow you to get a "feel" for how comfortable you may be working with them. If the initial conversation goes well book a one or two hour initial session.

Do your best to arrive at this initial session relaxed and prepared to be open and honest. Remember, your therapist is there to help you, and should hold no judgment as to the situation or challenges that you are facing. Their job is to listen to you, and work with you to create a plan to move forward. During the session make certain that you ask questions about how they may want to approach your therapy, and listen carefully to their answer. Your therapist should be open to a multitude of options.

There should be times during your session in which you feel not only comfortable and cared for, but times when you feel challenged and questioned. Depending on how ready you are to face your issues, and how prepared you are to do what might be considered the "tough work" there will be times when you will be a bit uncomfortable. A good therapist will be prepared to give you a small or big push in order to help you fly!

The most unique and perhaps even magical thing about a therapeutic relationship is that this is the one person in the world to whom you should be able to be completely honest, and share your most fun, crazy, scary and intimate thoughts with, having no fear of judgment or reprisal. In almost every other relationship in our lives there stands both potential costs and rewards when we share a piece of ourselves with another. In the best therapeutic relationship there only stands to be rewards. Personally I think this opportunity is nothing less than magic!

If you are fortunate enough to make such a connection in a first session, and believe that the therapist or counselor is someone with whom you could build that type of relationship, then this is the time and place to make a commitment. Ask the therapist about their rates. Will your therapist reward your willingness to an extended commitment by providing a discount for the prepayment of multiple sessions? What form of payment do they take, and if you are in serious financial need, do they have a sliding scale? Book your next appointment, and consider yourself blessed to have found someone who can support you in your life journey.

Todd Kaufman provides counselling and therapy in Toronto and via SKYPE. He uses a broad range of therapeutic techniques and approaches unique for each client that are designed to provide powerful, effective and expedient ways to overcome challenges and create the life you desire.

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5 Common Types of Anxiety Disorder

A lot of people suffer from various psychological conditions one of which is anxiety. In fact, we all experience it one way or another. It's just a matter of how you deal with certain emotions and feelings. Feeling tensed, uncertain or fearful at the idea of taking an exam, attending a job interview or going on your first day at work is natural. After some time, the anxiety would normally go away.

But if these feelings of nervousness, apprehension, worry and fear overwhelm you, they can create a negative effect in the way you behave and think.The following are among the most common types of anxiety disorders:

1. Generalized Anxiety Disorder is a mental condition that results to extreme, uncontrollable anxiety and worry about everyday things and functions. People who suffer from this anxiety disorder would often feel afraid and worried about money, health, work, family, relationships, etc. They find it difficult to identify the specific object that they are worried about.

Their fear is typically unreasonable and out of proportion to the actual source of worry. They expect that something will always go wrong to the extent that it will interfere with their daily functions.

2. Panic Disorder is a condition characterized by sudden attacks of extreme terror and apprehension that results to dizziness, shaking, confusion, nausea and breathing problems. This type of anxiety usually occurs abruptly and peaks after the next ten minutes. The attack can last for hours.

This disorder may cause a person to be intensely aware of the changes that occur in his normal body functions and may translate them as an incurable or terminal condition. This mental behavior is called hyper-vigilance and usually leads to health anxiety.

3. Phobia is a type of irrational fear of an object or situation. A person suffering from a certain type of phobia ultimately avoids or commits to great lengths just to prevent a typically irrational and out of proportion danger at hand.

4. Social Anxiety Disorder is a form of social phobia that gives a sufferer an intense fear of certain social situations that may lead to public embarrassment or humiliation and being negatively judged by other people. A person with this anxiety disorder usually has stage freight and fear of humiliation.

5. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a kind of anxiety that is usually caused by psychological trauma. Such trauma usually involves life threatening experiences or a threat to one's own or somebody else's sexual, physical or psychological integrity. These experiences include but are not limited to military combat, hostage situation, serious accident or rape.

A PTSD attack leads to the feeling of re-experiencing the original traumatic event through constant nightmares, flashbacks and behavioral changes to avoid certain stimuli associated with that event.

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3 Things to Look Out For In a Mental Health Therapist

A good mental health therapist seeks to improve the state of mind of individuals and help them overcome things that bar them from learning and growing. People, who are psychological stable, are well emotionally and behaviorally. They are said to be mentally healthy. This means that a mental health therapist would be interested in solving problems related to emotional well-being, behavioral health and psychological stability in order to improve the stability of the state of mind. In order to select a good mental health therapist, one should consider the following things:

Existence of license: Anyone considering hiring a mental health therapist must ensure that they are licensed in the areas which they practice. In other words, therapists must have an authorization certificate, because it proves their professionalism and qualifications. It is important to consider that state departments do not offer these certificates and licenses until they are satisfied of the qualifications of the therapist. To say less, a good mental health therapist must be a professional counselor or a psychological therapist. At the beginning of therapy the practitioner must identify and establish treatment goals in the treatment program, in addition to having a treatment program.

Therapists should ensure that they achieve treatment goals according to the goals set in the treatment program. In addition, for every end of treatment phase, there should be a way of assessing whether the treatment goals are achieved. Thus, goals must be clear and attainable. Assisting the clients: The work of the therapist should be assisting clients express what problem they have and not criticize the patient. Therapist must view the problem in different ways. They should give victims "homework assignments" between treatment sessions. They must suggest new ways of solving problems and directing how their patients should interact with other people. Use excellent skills: Therapists must identify when it is necessary to challenge patients and push into the patients' solutions. On their side, patients must see the necessity of being pushed to adopt solutions.

The therapist must advocate honesty among patients, and encourage them to open up and express their needs, worries, desires and expectations about treatments. It is important that they must lead patients to show them why they must attend appointments in time and observe the schedules. He should adverse on the necessary foods and diets, what to eat and what to avoid. He is also responsible for advising or not advising the patient about consuming alcohol, illegal substances and unauthorized chemicals.

He/she should give additional information: Therapists must be aware of and plan for emergency occurrences. In this case, it is important to come up with necessary emergency intervention strategies to handle those possible/potential emergencies when they occur. They must identify when medicine intake is advised or when patients must stop taking medicines and see psychiatrists or do both. Patients must be taught how they can manage mental disturbances and stress.

A good mental health therapist should also assure the patient security for information they collect from him/her. The information must not be taken by illegal/unauthorized hands. This includes close family members who may be interested in seeing or accessing patient information without written permission. Accessing of information is accepted for people/family members when patients are under 18 years and dependent. Guardians can also access the information in case the patients are underage. A person may expose patient's personal information about their health status and progress in mental health following legal guidelines.

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The Different Components of Your Brain

Whatever the reason you came here, when I talk about components, I mostly mean literal, physical parts of your brain. Because if I wanted to talk about everything your brain can do for you, every ability and capability, every single function, it would take me years and years.

Long introduction short, your brain has 6 'pieces', all housed inside of 2 hemispheres (2 two halves of the cerebrum), which are connected by the corpus callosum (the great band of fibers uniting the two halves of the cerebrum).

If we'd look inside your head, we would firstly find the 4 lobes located in the brain cortex (which contains the cerebrum, or so called 'big brains'):

- Temporal Lobes:

Location: the left and right side of your head at the front of your head

Function: hearing, coordination of data, language

What happens when they are damaged?

Your long-term memory will deteriorate, you'll have less language ability and language comprehension

- Frontal Lobe: [1]

Location: The front of your head

Function: feelings, personality, judging, taking (wise) decisions (ratio)

What happens when they are damaged?

You'll have no empathy for anything (superficial personality), concentration and memory problems

- Parietal Lobes:

Location: The top of your head

Function: processing sensory input into action, understanding of maths and logic

What happens when they are damaged?

You're ability of thinking in series and logic decision making will deteriorate

- Occipital Lobes:

Location: left and right side of your head in the back of your head

Function: visual memory

What happens when they are damaged?

Quite obviously: no visual memory, only linguistic memory

After these 4 important lobes we're left with two spots in your brain, containing the:

- Limbic System: [2]

Location: the middle of your head

Function: emotion and memory

What happens when they are damaged?

You can't relate to anything or anyone, memorizing things will be much more difficult (because you can't relate or attach emotion to certain events), you become emotionless

- Cerebellum (small brains) [3]

Location: underneath the big brains

Function: motor memory

What happens when they are damaged?

You can't learn (and/or remember) movements (reflexes however, do not need the brain (that's why they are called reflexes and you do them unconsciously), so those are still executed)

As you see, I added an [1], [2] or [3] to certain parts of your brain, and that's because I will now tell you more about this specific part.

Let us first discuss the Frontal Lobe. What's so special about this lobe? Because it is the reason puberty happens. When we're teenagers, every part of our brain is nearing the end of development, but our frontal lobe just still has an huge leap to go. That's why young people take so much risks, why they always disagree with their parents, have huge mood swings, they do not see the consequences of actions or reasons they should do those actions (remember, the front lobe controls personality, feelings, judging, taking decisions, etc.).

Next is the Limbic System. We told you it controls emotion and memory, and that is true, but not in the way you might expect it to. Memory is not stored in one place in the brain, memory is stored in the place it belongs to (for example, your memory of a song is stored in your auditory part of the brain).

So if memory is stored in all parts of the brain, why (or how) does the Limbic System control memory then? Because it sorts all the input you get every second of your live and determines what's important and what not. Because while your living you get signals and signals and signals and signals all the time, and if you wanted to memorize and consciously experience them all, you'd become crazy. Therefore you need something to categorize all the sensory input, and that you find in 'emotion'.

Ask yourself: What do you remember better? The moment someone told you that you were a really good friend to him or her, or a certain mathematics class for example? The first one, obviously (or you're really really into mathematics). And that's because there's emotion involved, it's important for your social life, you can relate to it.

Your first kiss or a movie you've seen 10 times?

Your friend crying or a subject you've been studying all day?

A beautiful song or what you've eaten yesterday evening?

The emotional load you attach to something determines how well and if we put it into memory.

And last but not least about the Cerebellum. All I wanted to say is that this is the place you really train when you practice sports, and this is also the place you for example have stored how to ride a bicycle. And to explain where your brain stores your memory even more: motor memory of course also is memory, and it is stored in the part of your brain that controls your movements!

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The Value of Psychotherapy

have recently set up a new practice as a Psychotherapist which led to a discussion with my partner in the practice as to our fees. This in turn led to thoughts about how to value our work.

My partner had listened to webinar on marketing that had discussed different types of customers and the importance of targeting one's business to a particular type of client. After this we decided that we were not targeting the budget segment but were most interested in the quality segment. The webinar was a marketing exercise for a marketing workshop that I subsequently attended.

At this marketing workshop there was a section on valuing your work. As someone who grew up in a country that had universal health care I had certain beliefs about paying for health services. In my current country (Australia) there were for many years many health services with no fees. These were reinforced when I worked in a public hospital associated clinic where most services were provided without fee. Moving into private practice involved challenging my beliefs.

The workshop presenter suggested that most psychologists do not value their services very highly. My thoughts are that for me this was due to these types of formative influences and my own issues around self esteem and self sacrifice.

I follow the Schema Therapy model where there are two 'schemas' associated with self esteem, defectiveness and failure. Defectiveness operates at more of an unconscious level whereas people tend to be very aware of their beliefs that they are a failure. I think both of these are a challenge for me and although I have considerable insight into them they still have considerable influence on my feelings and behaviour.

Most people in caring professions have a pattern of self sacrifice where they place their needs secondary to their clients. In order to be able to care for others one needs to take care of oneself. If I am tired I do not provide quality therapy.

There was some discussion in the workshop of personal factors such as self esteem and self sacrifice and then another exercise. The exercise consisted of thinking about a client with a specific issue and imaging being that client and what their answer would be to "How much would you pay to make this problem go away?" There was discussion of the costs to the client of the problem and then the costs to others in that person's life including their employer or business. A day off work can be critical to some businesses and therefore quite expensive when missed.

Everyone in the workshop then worked out a value per session by taking the total of the client's costs and dividing by the usual number of sessions it would take to treat that problem. For everyone in the room it was many multiples of their current hourly rate. In my case it was over $1,000 per hour of value compared to my usual $175 fee.

The aim and the outcome of this discussion and the exercise was that there is a lot more value to psychotherapy than most psychologists attribute to it. My partner and I have set charges in our practice at just below the recommended hourly rate recommended by our professional organisation. The main support for doing so was to affirm belief in our abilities and the value of the work that we do.

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Your Brain Is Hardwired For Truth

False signals, sooner or later, develop into chaos. Lack of any communication is more trust worthy than miscommunication. False signals make it so you do not know where you are going and that is where you are likely to end up.


Your neurons are HARD WIRED for Truth, and Truth is what holds all things together. A few years ago I wrote these words: Total Truth gives no false signals. The flow of even the slightest false witness gives the wrong signal and initiates the flow of wrong energy and matter. Opinions do not count as Truth. Because nothing is as it appears, what you perceive as reality is in fact, at least in part, an illusion. Untruth is an illusion paralleled with deception.

The main function between components and systems is to flow Truth (no false signals), energy, and matter needed by the other components and systems.

The mind is a wonderful thing to not waste. When your brain believes wrong is right, it will sincerely make the wrong choice. I call that negative faith operating on false data. A hypochondriac may develop an illness in an otherwise healthy body. The brain obeys the constant signals of welcoming illness because it becomes convinced that the signal is Truth. Not only is the single hypochondriac affected by this hidden lie, but others as well, including the family, friends, and community. Any untruth almost always affects many people.

Researchers in brain function at the California Institute of Technology have discovered the region of the brain where struggles with emotion takes place. This published university research helps substantiate that, indeed, Your neurons are HARD WIRED for Truth. The researchers used the fairness, struggles with emotion to find equitable solutions. They pinpointed the region of the brain where this concept of fairness is processed, the insular cortex, or insula, which is also the seat of emotional reactions.

"The fact that the brain has such a robust response to unfairness suggests that sensing unfairness is a basic evolved capacity," notes Steven Quartz, an associate professor of philosophy at Caltech and author of the study.

We have developed a pathway to improve brain function with Smart Sugars that are the building blocks for the Operating System (OS) of the brain and every cell of your body. Communication between cells is the responsibility of the Smart Sugars. However, the choice of morality, the choice of Truth is left up to the individual. Truth is hardwired into the brain. Should you go against Truth, your whole body knows and responds with a compounding stress level. Stress causes aging and the need to improve the immune system. Again, this is what Smart Sugars do.

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Loneliness and Dementia

Elderly folk that experience loneliness tend to be more at risk of developing dementia later on in life, a group of researchers is now saying. The study was published online and looks at feelings of loneliness as opposed to being physically isolated. The researchers found that:

About 2,000 senior citizens free from dementia were tracked over the course of three years. At the end of the three year study, the mental health of all participants was evaluated. Several survey questions were asked to help track mood and mental health changes. At the end of the questions, a formal dementia test was administered in order to get as accurate of a picture as possible.

The researchers here wanted to track depression, dementia, and unusually high death rates amongst senior citizens. Their findings were quite surprising. One in ten of the elderly folk that lived alone developed some form of dementia. Compare this to the one in twenty that developed dementia when living with other people. This means that people that lived alone were about twice as likely to get dementia. Feelings of loneliness exacerbated this. People who felt lonely were about twice more likely to get dementia than people who were not lonely-regardless of the living situation they found themselves in.

The living conditions or the social support systems didn't seem to have as significant of an impact as the actual mood behind everything. If someone felt lonely, they were more apt to develop dementia regardless of where they lived, whether they were married, or who they lived with. The feelings behind everything were what mattered the most.

The big thing that seems to be implied here, if these researchers are correct, is that loneliness might be able to be alleviated, and thus some cases of dementia might be prevented. There is no hard evidence to support this implication yet, but this is a serious question that absolutely needs to be addressed within future research studies.

Can assisted living help solve this problem? The answer isn't quite as easy as yes or no. If the feelings of loneliness can be erased in such a setting, perhaps some instances of dementia can be avoided. But if the person still feels alone, regardless of whether or not they are around people that like them and care about them, even being in an assisted living facility will not be of any help, this study seems to say. Still, with assisted living, the chances of decreasing the amount loneliness experienced are much better. If someone lives alone and is lonely, moving into assisted living probably won't hurt them, and it makes the odds of erasing loneliness just a little bit better. This is something that definitely needs to be considered

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