How To Find a Good Counselor or Therapist

Let's be honest with ourselves, if we all knew how to learn or access the skill sets required to overcome our challenges and create the lives that we dream of, we would all be skinny, rich, and happy!

It takes a great deal of courage and effort to even consider hiring a therapist, counselor, or coach. To do so represents a profound investment in you. Perhaps it is because you are struggling with some of life's challenges; relationship difficulties, career changes, depression, marriage problems, stress, anxiety attacks or panic attacks, or are simply ready to create a life which you are proud. Perhaps you finally asked yourself, "What kind of legacy in my leaving in this world for my friends and family?" Maybe you are in a relationship in considering marriage or long-term commitment and want to learn practical skills to help ensure your long-term success.

The goal of a good therapist is to help create a plan with you to overcome your challenges and make the changes in your life that you wish to achieve.

There are thousands of therapists and counselors available to you who are trained in numerous specialties and therapeutic approaches. Many, if not most of these therapists and counselors are highly trained in specialized fields and in specialized therapeutic approaches. There are psychotherapists, narrative therapist, cognitive behavioral therapist, energy therapist, spiritual therapist, and they may specialize in various areas such as relationships, sex and sexuality, career, depression and anxiety, or a multitude of specialties.

The problem, as I see it, is that with so many therapists and so many therapeutic options, how does one find the right fit without investing a great deal of time and money?

It's a bit of a catch 22 for someone who is newly reaching out for help. After all, if you had great clarity as to your problem, how it has come to be, and how you, and your unique experience, can overcome this problem, you would probably not need a therapist! Sometimes a fish does not know it is swimming in water!

The most effective solution to finding a good therapist is to look for an individual who has a great breadth and depth of life and therapeutic experience. Look for referrals to your friends, workplace, school, and do your own research on the internet. Many therapists and counselors have their own website which provides information about their experience and how they may be able to work with you.

You and your experience our unique. There is no "one-size-fits-all" approach for everyone.

Much like going to the doctor, first you go to a general or family practice doctor, not to a specialist. Begin your work with the therapist or counselor who has a broad base of experience and multiple therapeutic tools which they can use with you to create a helpful plan to move forward. If you have an acute psychiatric problem or challenge, your therapist will refer you to a specialist.

Consider how much time and money you are prepared to invest in this project called "you." I would suggest it is perhaps one of most profound and important undertakings you have ever embarked upon. That said, there is no reason that you should not be prudent and efficient in your approach and investment.

Be prepared to invest in an initial consultation with a therapist or counselor who you feel may be a good fit. Most therapists and counselors will provide you with a short telephone conversation or Skype conversation which will allow you to get a "feel" for how comfortable you may be working with them. If the initial conversation goes well book a one or two hour initial session.

Do your best to arrive at this initial session relaxed and prepared to be open and honest. Remember, your therapist is there to help you, and should hold no judgment as to the situation or challenges that you are facing. Their job is to listen to you, and work with you to create a plan to move forward. During the session make certain that you ask questions about how they may want to approach your therapy, and listen carefully to their answer. Your therapist should be open to a multitude of options.

There should be times during your session in which you feel not only comfortable and cared for, but times when you feel challenged and questioned. Depending on how ready you are to face your issues, and how prepared you are to do what might be considered the "tough work" there will be times when you will be a bit uncomfortable. A good therapist will be prepared to give you a small or big push in order to help you fly!

The most unique and perhaps even magical thing about a therapeutic relationship is that this is the one person in the world to whom you should be able to be completely honest, and share your most fun, crazy, scary and intimate thoughts with, having no fear of judgment or reprisal. In almost every other relationship in our lives there stands both potential costs and rewards when we share a piece of ourselves with another. In the best therapeutic relationship there only stands to be rewards. Personally I think this opportunity is nothing less than magic!

If you are fortunate enough to make such a connection in a first session, and believe that the therapist or counselor is someone with whom you could build that type of relationship, then this is the time and place to make a commitment. Ask the therapist about their rates. Will your therapist reward your willingness to an extended commitment by providing a discount for the prepayment of multiple sessions? What form of payment do they take, and if you are in serious financial need, do they have a sliding scale? Book your next appointment, and consider yourself blessed to have found someone who can support you in your life journey.

Todd Kaufman provides counselling and therapy in Toronto and via SKYPE. He uses a broad range of therapeutic techniques and approaches unique for each client that are designed to provide powerful, effective and expedient ways to overcome challenges and create the life you desire.